Stay Beautiful

This was sent in by someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

"I had always been really active when I was younger, but around the age of 8, I started gaining weight. That’s when my mother put me on a diet, but no matter how many sports I played or how many low carb meals I ate, I was still gaining weight. I was confused why I was even on a diet, I felt like every other girl my age and I didn’t even notice I was bigger until around 7^th grade. When I realized that I was much bigger than the other girls, it hit me really hard. I became very depressed, and my mother put the idea in my head that I would be so much happier if I was skinny, that I could only be beautiful if I was skinny.

So, I agreed to try to lose weight and was put on every diet you could think of until I graduated high school. My mom was constantly looking up new info and diets that could make me drop the weight. One worked, briefly, but I gained it back a few months later. I had started college and I was feeling a little more confident, because I got a fresh start. Unfortunately, I had to move back home after my first year, and that’s when the weight became an issue again. It was hard to make friends. All I could think about was how everyone must be thinking how disgusting I looked because I was so fat. I became obsessed with my weight. I would wake up in the morning and only look in the mirror to put on make up. I would have to force food down my throat because I was nauseated with myself. I started to eat less. I’d challenge myself to only eating a few things a day. A couple of pretzels as a snack, and to show my parents that I was eating, I’d have a salad for dinner.

There were days when I was invited to go out with my friends, and I’d have to cancel at the last minute because I convinced myself that none of the clothes in my closet made me attractive enough. It was hard. It’s still hard. I battle with my looks everyday. The initial emotion I feel when I look in the mirror is disgust, but I’m trying so hard to alter that view. People tell me all the time how beautiful I am, and I’m finally starting to realize that I don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful; I just have to be myself."

Remember to send in your own pictures and reflections to loveyoubeautiful@gmail.com. It all starts with you! <333